ES Market Print Sale
My first-ever print series, Dissolution, was available to view and purchase at the Elizabeth Suzann Autumn Market on October 05, 2019. The second edition of Dissolution is now available to view and purchase here.
Curiously driven by Carl Jung’s Shadow theory, this series of prints aims to introduce questions about our shadow selves—the unconscious parts of our beings we don't consciously access or experience every day. Discovering ourselves in the light as well as in the shadow allows us to know, accept, and love our fullest, truest selves. Only when we are dancing with our fullest, truest selves can we create work that is rooted in our personal individuality, and my hope is to give others (and myself) permission to explore a darker side of themselves and begin to bring that side into the light. My full artist’s statement is below.
The first time I read In Praise of Crooked Houses, a chapter in Elizabeth’s Gilbert’s Big Magic, I immediately knew it would be one I’d return to again and again. I knew this because the words on its pages struck me like a 30-foot wall of cool water, momentarily dissolving a deep and pernicious shame living within me, the kind of shame with a voice of its own and a shape of its own and even a physical force of its own that alters the pace of my heartbeat and expansion of my lungs.
So, when I woke up this morning to find myself deafened by that voice while the moon still held itself high, I knew what ought to happen next—what must happen next. Big Magic needed to be opened to In Praise of Crooked Houses, and I needed to reintroduce myself to the words on its pages.
Now, I won’t ruin any surprises, but I will share the words that unfailingly resound as I close the book and walk away.
“… the Earth stays on its axis, and rivers do not run backward when your work is released imperfectly.”
The Earth stays on its axis, and rivers do not run backward when your work is released imperfectly. Again and again, I repeat these words to myself, silently and aloud.
I repeat these words to myself because my creativity only exists in the space between two selves: my kind ego and my cruel shadow. My ego is kind because it allows me to feel confidence and worthiness. It romanticizes perfectionism and proceeds to promise me I’m capable of achieving it. My ego validates me, and that validation feels so good. It says to me, “I’m so glad you’re creating this work. It’s so important, and it matters.
My shadow is cruel because as soon as it perceives that confidence and worthiness, it ties its shoes and chases me down like a wolf hunting down its prey under the moon that holds itself high. It’s focused and relentless and numb to the shame it elucidates. “Who do you think you are claiming to create at all? Not only is this work unimportant, it does not matter at all. Aren’t you afraid of being deemed an imposter, a fraud?”
For most of my life, I failed to recognize the cyclical way my ego and my shadow feed and exacerbate one another. The larger my ego grows, the darker my shadow becomes. When my ego shrinks, my shadow fades, but so too does my sense of confidence and worthiness.
What’s so wild is there is a tiny but mighty space that exists between these two selves, and it’s just enough space for my third and most important self to stand tall: my creative self. It’s a space completely and unequivocally reserved for my creativity and the pursuit of it. This space allows my creative self to stand smack dab in the middle of my ego and my shadow and serve as their mediator—over and over and over again—allowing them to remain their largest, darkest selves without the power they once held. My creative self says to my ego, “Thank you so very much. You feel so good, and I need you.” My creative self then says to my shadow, “I know you’re trying to protect me. I also need you to remind me perfectionism is an illusion; it’s simply fear in disguise.”
This space, this tiny but mighty space, is where my creativity remains sharply conscious, its feet firm in the dissolution of my ego’s and my shadow’s power. It’s where I’m reminded the pursuit of creativity itself begets confidence and worthiness no matter the resulting work. This space is where I aim to live daily as it’s the only space I believe the Earth stays on its axis, and rivers do not run backward when my work is released imperfectly.
View Dissolution below and on Instagram here.
From left to right:
Dissolution 01, Dissolution 02, Dissolution 03, and Dissolution 04
Dissolution 01—03 were taken in Alys Beach, Florida. Dissolution 04 was taken in Negril, Jamaica. I invite you to send me a message if you have any questions about Dissolution.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I’m deeply grateful you find value in the work I choose to create.
View more blog posts here.